I remember the first time I heard my dad use a curse word.
Such a strange way to start this week's column, I know, but bear with me, and I'll explain why.
I remember the occasion quite well because it caught me off guard. It is out of character for my dad, which says a lot about his character in a good way.
When my dad passed away in November of last year, I never felt as though I lost him. Who and how he was molded a lot about who and how I am today. People never take me seriously when I say, looking back, I'm hard-pressed to find a time where I felt my dad was wrong and exhibited behavior that wasn't right. I might have disliked his actions, and how they felt "unfair" to me, but deep down inside, I knew he was right — the strict curfews, etc.
I grew up without a father, but I didn't grow up without a dad. I was adopted at age four and lived with my dad and mom from as early as 18 months when I entered the foster care system. Decades before I became a father, I knew the kind of father I wanted to be — the kind like my dad.
I say all of that to talk about America's pressing issue today, the lack of fathers being men. The major problems facing America today — the lawlessness, the lack of respect for authority, etc. stem from a lack of fathers being men.
According to the last census, 17.4 million children live in fatherless homes. Society reflects that. I understand that’s a hard pill to swallow, but someone has to address it in the open and do so with compassion.
I saw a tweet recently that bothered me, and I must admit, made me a little angry. It was a tweet by the United Nations of all accounts. It read this: “The #COVID19 pandemic is demonstrating what we all know: millennia of patriarchy have resulted in a male-dominated world with male-dominated culture, which damages everyone.”
Of course, and rightly so, it received what the social media world calls a "ratio," in which the replies far outweigh the likes. The tweet received over 22.7k replies to just 3k likes.
God created the family in a way that benefits all humanity (male and female) and made the father as the key to success, not to make women less but to set authority into place. The book of Ephesians uses the patriarchy to reflect the relationship between Christ and His church. Paul calls it a "mystery" now revealed.
Does it make sense now as to why we see today's chaos and the relationship between the lack of fathers being real men?